Sustainability is sexy and here at EcoVibe, we’re all about debunking misconceptions and providing you with empowering truths. We’re all about sex positivity and want to keep our community safe, dispel harmful myths and celebrate our bodies.
We’ll answer what it means to be sex positive, how to be sex positive, and debunk some pretty unsexy myths about sex. When it comes to sex there are lots of misconceptions, so we’ve done our best to highlight the sex facts that are far from factual.
WHAT IS SEX POSITIVITY?
It means different things to different people. For most of us, it’s about embracing and feeling comfortable in our own sexual identity and having a positive, judgement-free attitude to the sexual behaviours of others.
If you embrace sex positivity you work towards destigmatising all things sex and the shame that often surrounds our sex lives. Sex isn’t just to make babies, but for our pleasure, enjoyment, and health.
Sex positivity encourages conversations and education to ensure safe, consensual sex for all.
HOW TO BE SEX POSITIVE
Want to broaden your horizons and become a sex-positive wonderful human? Here’s how:
Call out slut-shaming
With the rise of social media, came the rise of people having a place to publicly air their views. Slut-shaming normally boils down to criticising the behaviour, appearance, or actions of a person as you perceive they are “too promiscuous”.
First things first, there’s no such thing as too promiscuous. Someone’s sex life is personal, and what they choose to do, or not do, is completely their choice.
Embrace your STI status
STIs can happen to anyone, and many can be contracted from not even having sex at all. Booking regular STI checks, especially before exploring sex with a new partner, is incredibly important to protect your’s and others' health.
Consent is sexy
The only person who has ownership of your body is you. Therefore, no one has a right to intimacy with you, not even your partner.
Consent is important, and it is something we should talk about and educate others about. If we have children, consent is something that should be learnt from an early age, with sexual consent coming later. Examples could include teaching children by asking permission before touching or hugging them and respecting their answers.
Educate yourself
We are all always learning new things and educating ourselves is one of the most empowering things we can do to become more sex positive.
This may involve reading articles online (like this one) or following content creators online who may cover areas you know very little about such as sex and disability.
Speaking of education...
SEX MYTHS WE NEED TO BUST:
Sex = shameWe all have different sex drives, and that’s not something that is in any way gendered. Some people like to have a lot of sex, some have kinky sex, some only enjoy oral sex, and some just don’t enjoy sex at all. This is all normal.
By attaching sex to shame we make things less safe. By being sex positive we encourage conversations around contraception, safe sex, and STIs which can help us all stay healthier.
Sex is rubbish with a condomThis is total b*ll sh*t. Condoms are designed to ensure that pleasure can be enjoyed by both parties while protecting against STIs and unplanned pregnancy. They’re pretty clever like that.
Plus, methods like pulling out are not effective forms of contraception as pre-cum can still contain sperm. You’re also not protecting yourself against STIs.
Ever noticed how people wearing condoms can still orgasm? Stay safe and satisfied.
Some penises are too big for condoms
Ahh, the age-old excuse. And normally completely untrue. Most average penises will fit regular condoms but there are other size options, from snug to XXL. Ego can play a part here, but choosing the right sized condom (one that doesn’t break or slip off) is safer and more comfortable, it’s a win-win!
Anal and oral don’t count
There are different kinds of sex, and none of them is any less pure, pleasurable, or safe than the other. The most important thing is what you enjoy and that it is safe and consensual.
Whether it is vaginal, manual, oral, or anal, there is nothing wrong with sex of any kind.
Vaginas get loose
No amount of sex and no length or girth of a penis is going to loosen a vagina. They’re designed to birth babies so are incredibly elastic, even as we get older.
You can get an STI from a toilet seat
One of the wilder rumours (see also toilet seat pregnancies). The fact of the matter is that diseases that are transmittable via bodily fluids often struggle to survive for long outside the body, so sitting on a public toilet does not put you at risk.
You can’t get pregnant having sex standing up, in the bath, or on your period
Whatever time of the month or position you use, vaginal sex with someone with a penis can lead to pregnancy if condoms or other contraceptives are not in use.
Chances of getting pregnant on your period are small, as you should be fairly far from ovulation but when you ovulate is unpredictable and sperm can survive inside the human body for up to 5 days.
Sex inhibits athletic performance
Believe it or not, coaches of top athletes have for years forbidden athletes from engaging in sex prior to sporting events for fear that their performance might be weakened. There is no scientific evidence to support this, in fact, as sex tends to relax and destress, it might be exactly what athletes need prior to a stressful event.
Blue balls
Need we say more?
So there you have it. We’ve covered the basics of sex positivity, from what it means to how to become more sex positive. We’ve then covered some surprisingly common sex misconceptions from when and how you can get pregnant to what we know about STI transmission. We’ve delved into some condom myths such as them not fitting and how they impact (or actually don’t) impact pleasure. Empowering ourselves and others through education helps us to stay safer, happier, and healthy - we love to see it!